Faith. Hope. Endure.

Okay so I know that I started off with another poem, but this poem is actually the first poem I wrote in my series of "self-reflection" poems. As I wrote this one I remember just allowing everything I felt to come out into words, mental pictures and symbols. Even as I read it again it reminds me of how far I've come from that point. Yet even then I knew that one day I would be lifted from the darkness if I just endured. As long as I felt like giving up on everything and everyone would be easiest, I still pressed on because I knew that Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father were there somewhere. I had hope and faith. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing the spirit to testify that to me then so that I could be on the right path now. I am so glad that even then as I wrote this, I added hope at the end. I added in what I knew to be true; that one day Christ would set me free :

Knuckles white as clouds and snow
clutching tighter with every blow.
Crack and Bleed.
The skin breaks through.
All alone I struggle free.
But nothing seems to come
between me falling.
between me crashing.
I hold on tighter.
Winds just blow me
ever stronger.
I struggle longer.
I can't keep holding.
Warm blood drips.
Warm sweat drips.
It stings my eyes.
Tears sting my eyes.
No one hears me when I cry.
My mind just whispers
Hoarsely whispers:
"Just let go."
"Just let go."
The pain is endless.
Ever Endless.
But I'm not brave enough
to be weak
and let go.
I'm not strong enough
to be weak
and let go.
There is no padding underfoot
to cushion such a vicious fall.
There is no padding underfoot
to muffle such a desperate call.
Yet no one can hear.
Yet no one can hear.
I'm barely holding by finger tips now.
There is no room to wonder how
this will end.
But this will end.
One day something will carry me.
One day something will lift me.
One day someone will set me free.